When I started writing this thing, I did it for two reasons:
1. Because it was the easiest way to get out a lot of information, and
2. Because it was an outlet, a way to get all that I had out. Therapy, for lack of a better word.
And now it's Wednesday night, and when the sun comes over the hill tomorrow morning it will be the last sunrise I experience when I'm just Jonathan. When the sun goes down Thursday night I won't be just Jonathan, but Jonathan, father of Nathan Thomas Massey. Excuse me while I go breathe heavily into a paper bag.
So, I figured that I would use this last blog before Nathan arrives to write him. I'll write another blog after the boy arrives to recap how this endeavor has been for Amanda and I, but right now I just want to write my son. Maybe 15-20 years from now he'll stumble upon this one night and read these words and think "yeah, he was right about most of that." So, here goes:
Nathan,
Right now your Mom and I are probably losing what little self control we have. Well, thats not entirely true. Your Mom is a rock. Your Dad is basically the human equivalent of the Stay Puft Marshmallow man.
We never expected you to be here. You weren't in our plans. Neither was your Mother spending a month in the hospital because of pre-eclampsia, incubating you and ensuring that you and she were both healthy. But just because you were never in our plans doesn't mean we didn't hope and pray for you. Honestly, we just never expected something this amazing to happen to us. We thought we were lucky and blessed enough just to find each other. We never in our wildest dreams thought God would find a way to bring you to us. And so tomorrow you will be here. Your lungs will fill with air, and you will cry, and so will a whole lot of others because so many people out there have been praying for you, for this day to happen, for you to be a part of this world. Our family and friends have been amazing, taking care of us so that we can can take care of you. Nathan, you'll find out pretty quickly that your old man is a sentimental marshmallow, just like his old man was, and you might read this and wonder where this is going. Well, I thought I would take this opportunity to impart some wisdom on you. I know you're not here yet, but you'll come to find out that its never too early for some good old unsolicited advice from your family. And just so you know, this advice is from just your Dad. The advice your Mom will give you will be WAY better and will most likely genuinely help you more, but this is Dad time here.
* Don't just treat people the way you want to be treated, treat them better.
* You are so very special, but you are no better than anyone else. Never ever believe that you are above anyone. Ever.
* Love is love is love is love.
* George is your Dad's favorite Beatle and this is why: George was the "quiet" Beatle. George wasn't flashy and George never referred to himself as a genius. George was the one Beatle who had real beliefs. He wasn't into fads, he was into something that was genuine. Always be genuine.
* There is such a thing as truth and it is NOT to be cast aside just because it is convenient to label things that make you look bad as "lies" or "fake."
* It's OK to be afraid, but don't let it keep you from trying. Your Mom and I will never EVER be disappointed in you if you fail, so long as you try.
* Most foods are better with Bacon.
* Life is not fair and to be honest, it's not supposed to be, but YOU are supposed to be fair. Never lose that sense of right and wrong.
* Always listen to your Mom. She is WAY smarter than your Dad.
* Fill your life with people who make you better.
* Never waste the opportunity to pet a fluffy animal.
* Family will always be there for you, but family isn't just blood alone. Family can come from anywhere.
* Your grandparents are going to spoil you. That's their job. Our job is to make you a good person and that means we are going to do things that you aren't going to like. Tough. You'll thank us later.
* Don't be afraid to say No...just not to your Mom and I.
* Be different. Be yourself.
* Try to keep the moments of pure idiocy to a minimum. Always follow Michael Scott's advice to Dwight Schrute: "Don't be an idiot. Ask yourself, 'would an idiot do this?' and if the answer is 'yes' then do not do that thing'"
* There is only one acceptable way to tie a necktie and that is with a full Windsor knot. I'll show you how to do this.
* Learn to let go of things you can't control. You will be a lot happier once you do.
* There are worse things in this life than physical pain, like heartbreak, disappointment, and the flute solo in The Mama's and Papa's "California Dreamin" and Cher's voice in the bridge of "I Got You Babe." It's alright to make room for those painful things, just as long as you make room for the rest of your life.
* Mr. Rogers used to say "Look for the helpers. You will always find people that are helping." Don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
* Weakness is not admitting fault, but it the inability to do so. If you mess up, own it.
* You will come into the world with a head start, not just because of your race and your gender, but because you will be in a home where you are loved and your needs will be met. Don't ever believe that you are entitled to the things that you were blessed to have.
* Enjoy every donut.
* The world is full of beautiful things, but its also full of horrible things. We will do our best to prepare you for the horrible, but we can't shield you forever. Have courage.
* Learn to take a compliment. Do not rob others the satisfaction of expressing their gratitude and support. Smile and say "thank you!"
* There is only one true boyband and that is NSNYC.
* All generalizations are false, including this one.
* Anyone that tells you that they alone can fix all your problems is not to be trusted.
* Beware of Wendy's chicken sandwiches. There's always a chance that there's pieces of gristle in there. Have a beverage on hand.
* Hold the door open for people.
* If you are ever late then at least bring breakfast for everybody.
* You get what you pay for. This is why your Dad will never own anything but a Mac.
* If you feel a nibble, set the hook.
So, there it is, a ton of unsolicited advice. You'll also learn that most people who give out tons of advice need to heed it themselves, and your Dad is no different. So, Nate, you don't have to follow all of this (except for the part about the tie. That one is non-negotiable) and you will probably do things way different than what I listed up there, but all that matters is that you can see from this list of random advice that it is full of love and care, and that's what your Mom and I have in unlimited supply. We will give you everything we can to ensure you succeed in this life, but you need to realize that there will be many times that what we give you isn't exactly what you want or think that you need, just know that we've been there too. Our parents made hard decisions to do what was right for us and we will do the same for you. So, no matter what you experience in this life you are about to embark on, remember that somebody out there as gone through the same thing, meaning this: you are never alone.
Nathan, I am going to make you a promise and that promise is this: I will be to you what my Dad and Mom were to me, what your Mom's parents were to her, an example of what love looks like in all of its forms. I want you to know that although your Dad may look like a large stuffed animal, he will move mountains for you and your Mother. I'm going to do dumb things, I'll embarrass you. I'll make stupid decisions, but I will never do anything to keep you from having the life you deserve.
Your Mom and I love you very very much, in ways we have yet to comprehend, and always remember, that is never going away. It is unlimited.
Love,
Your Dad
So there it is. A father's letter to his son. Dear God, don't let me screw him up too much.
1. Because it was the easiest way to get out a lot of information, and
2. Because it was an outlet, a way to get all that I had out. Therapy, for lack of a better word.
And now it's Wednesday night, and when the sun comes over the hill tomorrow morning it will be the last sunrise I experience when I'm just Jonathan. When the sun goes down Thursday night I won't be just Jonathan, but Jonathan, father of Nathan Thomas Massey. Excuse me while I go breathe heavily into a paper bag.
So, I figured that I would use this last blog before Nathan arrives to write him. I'll write another blog after the boy arrives to recap how this endeavor has been for Amanda and I, but right now I just want to write my son. Maybe 15-20 years from now he'll stumble upon this one night and read these words and think "yeah, he was right about most of that." So, here goes:
Nathan,
Right now your Mom and I are probably losing what little self control we have. Well, thats not entirely true. Your Mom is a rock. Your Dad is basically the human equivalent of the Stay Puft Marshmallow man.
You'll learn about all these references I make in this letter later in life. I'll make sure of it.
We never expected you to be here. You weren't in our plans. Neither was your Mother spending a month in the hospital because of pre-eclampsia, incubating you and ensuring that you and she were both healthy. But just because you were never in our plans doesn't mean we didn't hope and pray for you. Honestly, we just never expected something this amazing to happen to us. We thought we were lucky and blessed enough just to find each other. We never in our wildest dreams thought God would find a way to bring you to us. And so tomorrow you will be here. Your lungs will fill with air, and you will cry, and so will a whole lot of others because so many people out there have been praying for you, for this day to happen, for you to be a part of this world. Our family and friends have been amazing, taking care of us so that we can can take care of you. Nathan, you'll find out pretty quickly that your old man is a sentimental marshmallow, just like his old man was, and you might read this and wonder where this is going. Well, I thought I would take this opportunity to impart some wisdom on you. I know you're not here yet, but you'll come to find out that its never too early for some good old unsolicited advice from your family. And just so you know, this advice is from just your Dad. The advice your Mom will give you will be WAY better and will most likely genuinely help you more, but this is Dad time here.
* Don't just treat people the way you want to be treated, treat them better.
* You are so very special, but you are no better than anyone else. Never ever believe that you are above anyone. Ever.
* Love is love is love is love.
* George is your Dad's favorite Beatle and this is why: George was the "quiet" Beatle. George wasn't flashy and George never referred to himself as a genius. George was the one Beatle who had real beliefs. He wasn't into fads, he was into something that was genuine. Always be genuine.
* There is such a thing as truth and it is NOT to be cast aside just because it is convenient to label things that make you look bad as "lies" or "fake."
* It's OK to be afraid, but don't let it keep you from trying. Your Mom and I will never EVER be disappointed in you if you fail, so long as you try.
* Most foods are better with Bacon.
* Life is not fair and to be honest, it's not supposed to be, but YOU are supposed to be fair. Never lose that sense of right and wrong.
* Always listen to your Mom. She is WAY smarter than your Dad.
* Fill your life with people who make you better.
* Never waste the opportunity to pet a fluffy animal.
* Family will always be there for you, but family isn't just blood alone. Family can come from anywhere.
* Your grandparents are going to spoil you. That's their job. Our job is to make you a good person and that means we are going to do things that you aren't going to like. Tough. You'll thank us later.
* Don't be afraid to say No...just not to your Mom and I.
* Be different. Be yourself.
* Try to keep the moments of pure idiocy to a minimum. Always follow Michael Scott's advice to Dwight Schrute: "Don't be an idiot. Ask yourself, 'would an idiot do this?' and if the answer is 'yes' then do not do that thing'"
* There is only one acceptable way to tie a necktie and that is with a full Windsor knot. I'll show you how to do this.
* Learn to let go of things you can't control. You will be a lot happier once you do.
* There are worse things in this life than physical pain, like heartbreak, disappointment, and the flute solo in The Mama's and Papa's "California Dreamin" and Cher's voice in the bridge of "I Got You Babe." It's alright to make room for those painful things, just as long as you make room for the rest of your life.
* Mr. Rogers used to say "Look for the helpers. You will always find people that are helping." Don't ever be afraid to ask for help.
* Weakness is not admitting fault, but it the inability to do so. If you mess up, own it.
* You will come into the world with a head start, not just because of your race and your gender, but because you will be in a home where you are loved and your needs will be met. Don't ever believe that you are entitled to the things that you were blessed to have.
* Enjoy every donut.
* The world is full of beautiful things, but its also full of horrible things. We will do our best to prepare you for the horrible, but we can't shield you forever. Have courage.
* Learn to take a compliment. Do not rob others the satisfaction of expressing their gratitude and support. Smile and say "thank you!"
* There is only one true boyband and that is NSNYC.
* All generalizations are false, including this one.
* Anyone that tells you that they alone can fix all your problems is not to be trusted.
* Beware of Wendy's chicken sandwiches. There's always a chance that there's pieces of gristle in there. Have a beverage on hand.
* Hold the door open for people.
* If you are ever late then at least bring breakfast for everybody.
* You get what you pay for. This is why your Dad will never own anything but a Mac.
* If you feel a nibble, set the hook.
So, there it is, a ton of unsolicited advice. You'll also learn that most people who give out tons of advice need to heed it themselves, and your Dad is no different. So, Nate, you don't have to follow all of this (except for the part about the tie. That one is non-negotiable) and you will probably do things way different than what I listed up there, but all that matters is that you can see from this list of random advice that it is full of love and care, and that's what your Mom and I have in unlimited supply. We will give you everything we can to ensure you succeed in this life, but you need to realize that there will be many times that what we give you isn't exactly what you want or think that you need, just know that we've been there too. Our parents made hard decisions to do what was right for us and we will do the same for you. So, no matter what you experience in this life you are about to embark on, remember that somebody out there as gone through the same thing, meaning this: you are never alone.
Nathan, I am going to make you a promise and that promise is this: I will be to you what my Dad and Mom were to me, what your Mom's parents were to her, an example of what love looks like in all of its forms. I want you to know that although your Dad may look like a large stuffed animal, he will move mountains for you and your Mother. I'm going to do dumb things, I'll embarrass you. I'll make stupid decisions, but I will never do anything to keep you from having the life you deserve.
Your Mom and I love you very very much, in ways we have yet to comprehend, and always remember, that is never going away. It is unlimited.
Love,
Your Dad
So there it is. A father's letter to his son. Dear God, don't let me screw him up too much.
Nathan is a lucky boy coming into this world with you as his Dad. I pray for a healthy, smooth delivery and get ready because the fun is just starting!
ReplyDelete